Precautions for Handling Mail The

Precautions for Handling Mail

The box of Tide Detergent sent to you in the mail does not contain anthrax. It is specially formulated to remove stains and unlock the potential of your washing machine. It has been known to cause yellow fever.

ՕIf the return address on the envelope says “Columbia House Music Club,” immediately cover it with towel, walk out of the room slowly and contact the proper authorities.

If an envelope sent to you has Ed McMahon’s face on it, please forward it to the Ed McMahon Museum in Anaheim California. It is a very rare collectible.

ՕBecause of false alarms related to shipping white powder through the mail, the Postal Service has asked that clandestine cocaine shipments be handled through FedEx and UPS.

For sensitivity reasons, the “Dead Letter Office” will be renamed the “Non-Contagious Cutaneous Infection Office.”
(There’s more, see story).

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