Or: ‘Who’s Bright Idea Were These, Then?’
A couple of things that have never made much sense to me are central locking and electric windows on cars. What’s the use of them?
Electric windows were a nice idea originally, but soon ceased to be anything other than a headache when the car manufacturers became confident enough with them to remove any means of mechanical backup that could be used in the event of a power lift/window motor failing when the window was open.
So what now happens if a motor fails when the window is open (which it invariably is) is that you have to remove the inner door panel by playing a long game of ‘Find The Hidden Screws!’, then manhandle the offending window into the closed position and then by some means of wire or tape lock it into the closed position until you find and get a new motor fitted. I know, I had one fail yesterday, and that’s the second one this year. Ho hmm.
Oh, and new window motors are around $100 + fitting each, thankyou very much, sir, cash will do just fine. Credit card, you say? That’ll be extra!
Bring back mechanical backup, I say.
Central locking. Well, what’s to say? Even when it works isn’t it ultimately pointless? You are effectively buying technology that will ensure that when you are driving down the street all of your doors are unlocked all around you. Try doing that in a dodgy area and see how far you get. You can of course centrally unlock your doors, get into the car, and then centrally re-lock your doors after you’re in. Then just hope that the emergency services don’t spray too much glass all over you should you be unfortunate enough to have a crash and they need to smash their way into the car to get you out.
So, central locking? It’s a bit like many super-models – pretty but pointless, no?
And whilst I think about it…
Air conditioning/climate control. Great, no complaints, and especially around here almost a necessity, but dear German car manufacturer—*why* wire it and the central locking to the exact same fuse as the warning lights for both engine water temperature and oil pressure? Central locking and AirCon aren’t in themselves dangerous to the car if they fail, but if they blow that fuse in the process and leave you with no warning indicators that a water or oil pump is in trouble?
Mad idea.
Other things often found in cars (and commercial breaks):
Power steering – old but good idea.
Traction control – new but good idea.
ABS – old but good idea. It takes a large leap of faith to fully trust it, though.
Electric sunroofs – old but good idea, but only with a mechanical backup.
Heated front screens – fairly new but good idea.
Electric door mirrors – old but reasonably good idea. They invariably get whacked by something sooner or later and then never work again, though.
Airbags – old but good idea. Just please don’t let them inflate at the wrong time, for obvious reasons.
Eight or ten speaker sound systems – lame idea. Sound the same as decent four or six speaker systems to me.
Video screens for rear seat passengers – no, no, no, please, no. Count me out. I can’t begin to imagine which torture driving down the freeway being forced to listen to anything from Sesame Street to Gardeners World from the rear seats must be like.
SatNav – Why not just read the signposts? I’m in Europe, not the North Pole or Sahara Desert. Who needs it. A daft idea and a passing fad for the masses.
‘Night vision enabled’ front lights (IR beams) – a new and excellent idea in cars, but only if coupled with…
…Head-up displays. Another new (on cars) idea. Jury is still out on them.
That’s all the car gadgets that spring to mind at the moment. Feel free to mention any that I missed. If you have any of the above or any others – what do you think of them?
